Well meaning friends often ask how I am doing. Most days there is not an easy answer for that. I am not sure how I am most of the time. I have become numb to my life.
Most nights I am fine with being holed up in my craft room until he passes out. Others I really want to veg in front of the tv. The problem with that is if I go where he is there will be interaction.
If he's in a good mood there is jovial interaction. If he's in a bad mood there is duck and cover interaction. There are only so many egg shells one can tip toe over before she just avoids the egg shells all together.
I guess that sums it up.... I am avoiding egg shells by hiding from a situation I have every ability to fix but choose not to.
Because I choose not I to, I feel it's unacceptable to unload yet again on the shoulders that are there for me. I know they have heard it all before and are as sick of it as I am. One day the story will change.
Until that day I will carry the burden I have chosen in silence with the exception of my musings here.
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